lately the weather haven’t been friendly, at the afternoon the heat goes to 35 degree, staying at home with no fan or air conditioner is not an option. and when you ride a motor bike in the street, not wearing jacket, the sun will burn your skin, and wearing one, you will sweat while the traffic is jamming. most of people were complaining about the heat, the whole afternoon i tried not to make much move for not to get sweaty, looking at the screen of the notebook, i smile a little, some funny comment from some friends on facebook. yes, that is how i usually spend my boring day, sometime when business gets busy i will be on the street taking care of it. but most of the chances, i will be in the shop. but business are not as easy as anyone thought to run, we have a lot of things to concern about, and customer are not going to coming in if we were just sat idly at the office, and once a customer come, they will not always buying at our shop, if we can’t satisfy their need, or disappoint them one time, yes it is just needed a one slight chance of mistake, and we will lose that customers. and yet, not every day a new customer will walk in to the shop. sometime i questioned myself on how to boost the income higher, and get more customer, changing collection are risky, publication will cost more money. i have tried thinking this for sometime, yet still, it felt stuck. doing some observation about why, how and what, but the solution is always back at, to make money we will need to spend more money in a business. and money will not just fall from the tree in front of yard. at the moment, i decide to just go with the flow, how will the outcome will be, i will try to make my peace out of it.
“..hey, are you open today? and what time will you close the shop?..” voice from the mobile speaker questioning without a hi and how are you for an opening, i recognize the voice. ar i used to call him, one of my best friend, that i have not heard for several weeks.
“..eh, i’m good by the way, thanks for asking, and yes it is still open, in 30 more minutes will be the closing time, why? you are around here?..” well we both know each other well, he must be around the area, or about to pass by the area and wanted to pop up and say hi.
“..not yet, still home for now, but soon i’ll be leaving and heading there alright? maybe we can have an early dinner or coffee or something..” actually, i’m not really in the mood to do anything tonight, but meeting with him would give me a good mood change situation, he always have an interesting view of how things were, and as i always do appreciating them.
“..alright, you want me to wait in the shop? or can you pick me up at home?..”
“..well, i’ll be leaving soon, so it will be less than 30 minutes, i will see you at the shop ok?..”
“..ok see you soon..”
we both decide to have coffee at anomali coffee shop, he takes a long black and i take coffee mocha. the taste is quite good i must admit. ar knew this place for sometime, and this is my first time to this place, small, cozy coffee shop, we can have our conversation there freely.
“..is rif calling you? is that why you come to see me?..” i start to questioned, rif is my love one, we are on a long distance relationship, in 2009 he was leaving back to his home town. well actually, we both start a business, but as we all knew, in the beginning of a businesses is never easy, and money can’t be made as quick as we spent. he have to go back, because the starter for the business are from his saving. and we both were about to ran out of our saving.
“..eh? do i need to get a call from rif to see you? is that how it work? and also, why? you two are having an argument again?..” he ask, and then looking at me. is my question obviously said that i am in trouble in my relationship? or he just knew how to read mind?
“..not like that, it is working, but yes, i need some advise regarding my problem with him..” as i open the conversation before we start talking about other matter.
“..oh? what happened? you thinking things you shouldn’t think agan? or he said some sarcastic joke that you can’t handle? or it is about the different culture?..”
“..to be honest, sometime i think things that i shouldn’t think about, and those thought, for somehow, effecting my way of deciding my things. on a long distance relationship is not easy, well it never is, but sometime some aspect make the relationship itself not working. as my way of thinking lately, this relationship is getting harder by not knowing when will he be coming here to see me, i knew he work hard in his hometown, and he send me some amount of cash to help me for the business to keep running. and it does helping. but the block for me is just the not knowing what is going on to happened in the future..” i explained.
“..you do know that the only certaint in life is the uncertainty itself right?..” he questioned.
“..yes, but for how long should i wait? a year or two? five? at the moment, i could wait forever..”
“..how do i know? i can’t tell a future, and think with you saying waiting forever is just you being a drama queen, forever is a very long time you know?..” that just how he is, his word a bit sharp but i knew he is right.
“..yes, and i can’t wait in an unlimited time amount..”
“..well ask this to yourself, what you need that is not or can’t he gave? love? money? sex? or his presence to be near?..”
“..what is with you? i need an advise, not questioned that i already run down in my brain for sometime..” it start to irritate me when he ask me those things.
“..if you already thought this through, then you should find the answer already yourself right? i honestly can’t tell you what to do with your life, i just question those things for you to choose which is more important to you?..”
“..it is complicated you see? you know all my stories already, and i also need a friend to share my feelings, and yes, about him, i need to know when will he be coming..” i reasoned.
“..no you need an ally, to say yes on your decision. well i can’t, because somehow, you will need to make the decision yourself, if it is a mistake, you need to learn it yourself, you know every decision you make will have the consequences, and that will not be easy..” yes, i think he does make sense in here.
–an unfinish article that is saved in my storage–