I spent my Saturday at Gerhard place, he is always a pleasant person to be around with, we mostly just having conversations about life, love or whatever that thrill us to talk to each other. He make a fried rice for our early dinner, it was a rather unique kind of food on my plate that I ate, but it was a good one. The uncommon taste in my mouth doesn’t make it bad, I say it is unique. He put some other ingredients in the cook meal, I can taste a slight of ginger, and some others I can’t really describe the name. Knowing him for several months now, I got to know that he is a person who doesn’t really going out, spending his day off with movies, or visiting friends, maybe occasionally he went to the club.
One topic still hang in my head, an LDR is most of the time not work out? Is it because of the distance or because of the urge of one self to having a significant other that we can’t control? I am aware of the temptations that is most of the time presented right in front of our nose, but can’t a person hold them self because it might hurt the person on the other side? If my brain start picturing my love one, or should I say ex-love one, is having an intimate time with others but myself, somehow it hurt me. How this is even happened?
The rest of the evening we watch movies on TV, I consider him a good friend, also like a big brother that I never have. A connection towards other people like me, I should say gay in here, are not easy to find. Maybe it is a fact that he is relocating from his hometown and willing to live in my country, which makes me easier to speak to him, our love for this country connected us. Maybe..
And I went home late that night, it felt good to actually speak to someone who is also struggling in this big world, which makes the two of us just like a dot. But we both have feelings, in our own mind, we definitely not a dot, we have our own world going on. I am just happy to have someone to talk to. The connection is probably because the two of us just recently been hurt, but our close significant other.
The next day, I went to an Internet Café to check my email. I re-read Lee’s email. Just to be sure that he actually letting me go. Gently. And I have no other perception from the email. That’s just it. I turn on my messenger, and put available to chat. Several windows pop-up. But nothing from Lee. I was hoping that he would check on me.
“..hi Daddee, how are you? How’s your time back in your hometown? I hope everything is alright with you. Big Hugs from Bali..” I send an offline message through his messenger. Hoping that he might be invisible, and can go online after he see me message. Nothing. I waited for about 45 minutes but I didn’t see him going online. And after replying to several offline messages, I close my billing, then head to have my lunch.
“..hi You! I enjoy our time yesterday, thank you for visiting me..” a text message entering to my inbox, it was Gerhard.
“..hi G, I enjoy our conversation too yesterday, and glad you do too..” I press send on my phone. Then continue to finishing my Soto Ayam.
As usual, if the next day is working day, I rather not travelling, or making any activities that would exhaust me. That would make me feel tired at work if I sleep later than usual. Especially tomorrow I still have to finished the work from yesterday, which is 70 percent done, but still, I rather not taking any chances of making an error on my work. It is affecting me if I went to bet later than usual, the next morning I will waking up late, which will make the whole day like an hour later, or waking up at the same time but have this exhaust feeling due to lack of sleeping.
Working at 9:30AM until 5:30PM is like an auto schedule, the work load makes me not really thinking about the time or will to go somewhere, just home-work-home-work and so on. I sometime went out yes, but that is very rarely if I have someone contacting to meet somewhere. But I can’t keep it up daily going out to have dinner out or hang out with friends. My work and body doesn’t allow me to. Once in a while I can tolerate.
Work is loaded as usual, while busy preparing for a large amounts of order from a clients, they said they have this unit’s project for school. Other colleague were also busy preparing, hardisk, motherboard, processor, memory, vga card, and the lists goes on, needed to be stamp for the warranty. It will shows when the hardware is purchase and when is the limit of the warranty expired. Sometime, clients brought a hardware and claim that it is being purchased in my company, but the warranty is definitely not from ours. So we have to decline. And told them to go to the supplier where they bought it. And yet, they still insisting. I am aware peoples might thought they bought their good at us, but a warranty is not claimable if it is not ours. When the order is done being prepared, it was almost about time to go home, ‘sheesh’ again I forgot to have my lunch, that is one bad habit I am having, when I work I usually forgetting about time. And it is about to go home already. I stop at the local warung on my way home, and order a ‘Nasi Campur’(usually it is served with rice, vegetables, fried noodle, fried chicken and perkedel). I check on my phone, I see several messages on my inbox, most of it are from the provider offering several minutes call for certain price, also texts, or the ringtones. I delete them immediately. One familiar name also there. “..afternoon You, have you had your lunch? Have any plan for the weekend?..”
“..hello G, good evening, sorry for the late answer, work is been busy, on my way home and having my lunch and dinner at the same time now. No, I done have plan in particular. What you have in mind?..” I reply to the message from Gerhard. I then continue to eat my lunner, or should I call dunch. I just realize how hungry I am while I chew my food. Arriving at my room, I take my clothes off, wash my face to freshen up, and turn on the TV, it was this reality singing show on. Sometime I wonder, how come the winner who won the last season is not the most talented one? Instead it was someone who is selling drama on the show? Are most of peoples craving for drama and not looking at the real talent one? Owh I hate drama! I can’t add another emotions movement, while I am still having my own plate of emotions that sometime I can’t even control.
“..at this time? Lunch and dinner? That is not good. You have to look after yourself. No I don’t really have anything in mind yet, but we can just hangout like last week. As I said before, I enjoy your companion..” another text message hitting my inbox.
“..i know, but that’s just how I am, I usually forget about other things when work is getting loaded up. Thank you for reminding me. Sure, Saturday is a public holiday I believe, tomorrow after work I can come to your place..” I can’t believe it is Thursday, work is going by so quickly in this island, unlike when I am back in my hometown, where everything is slow and relax. Although I miss the green rice field in front of my parent house. I usually sat at the bench in the terrace and fall asleep there, the wind that run through my face is just too persuasive to put me to sleep.
“..ahh yes, it is a public holiday, what about I pick you up tomorrow after work?..”
“..sure, after work is good, but it is not too far for you? you have to drive around to get to my place aren’t you?..” I was rather taking a taxi or Ojek (motorbike taxi), then letting him to drive around the city where the traffic are worse.
“..it is ok, I enjoy driving through the city, see you tomorrow..” Gerhard message entering my inbox. I find him very kind and pleasant. And spending the weekend with someone I consider a good friend with is more than good. It always is a pleasant.
“..ok, see you tomorrow after work. Have a good evening there..”