..the missed..

After long drive from Nahant, we, me and my brother, Richard, arrived in Florida late afternoon, we decide to rent a room for couple of nights. It’s been a while I drove on a long journey. It still feels good. But what cannot lie is the number of age. I get easily tired as much as my brother. We switched several times. We always thought we have a young soul, which is true, but our body sometime react as it supposed to be.
After our early dinner, we went for a stroll in the area, the warmth catch my interest the moment I got out of our car. I can see the coast clearly. Somehow, strangely, I always feel home when I am near the ocean. That win me already. We enjoy the evening by walking around the area. Richard easily stop to buy a snack, donuts or soft drink, he seems to always have something in his mouth. I take some too. No wonder we are a big family. Where I mean big is because we are.
..I love the area, a lot warmer than back home..” He speak his mind after finishing the first donut in the paper bag.
..It is warmer, and also, it is near the sea, which I like too..
..Owh you’re so lucky, I would love to move here too..
..Well, you can’t! Your kids are still in school, and I don’t think your wife would agree to this idea..” I quickly encounter his babbling. I can’t have him living near where I live, otherwise, I would be having difficulties when I wanted to date or bringing someone home to sleepover. It is just like back home in Nahant if he did.
..Yes, you’re right. I can’t. What was I thinking?..” He mumble and about to start with the second donut in his hand.
..No idea..” I raise my shoulder to him. I can hear in my head, I am saying a ‘Yes!’ loudly. We sat on the bench near the beach, where some peoples are coming home from work, some are enjoying the evening with their significant other, on the far on my right there were a couple with their kids sitting on the stair, and some others are busy with their activities. We just sat there. My brother busy with his snacks, once in a while I took some.
..So, what about your crush on your holiday? Is it just another holiday crush? You hardly speak about your private live, but from that email, I could tell that you are happy?..
..I was, and I still am, why would I not be happy? It was a good time I spent there, but, he is living there, and I live in here, so there is that..” I don’t know why that comes out of my mouth, probably thinking that is the most reasonable reason I could come up with. Which is true, we both living in a different world, how can we make it work, we both have a lot to give up if we continue. “..Maybe someday, I can visit there again..
..Again? This kind of trip, is the kind of, one experience in a lifetime, isn’t it? And you want to do it again?..” He then sip his drink.
..Who set the standard?..” I disagree
..I don’t know..
..If we like it, why can’t we do it more? And I do like it there, it would not be a trip of every month or two, beside the fare that is quite high, also it is too tiring with the long hour flight, but in there, there is a warmth in each aspect. The peoples, the weather and the prices there are a lot cheaper..
..Ok, Ok, I believe you, no need to give me the whole lectures..
..Lets head to the room..” I stand and ready to go.
..Oh come on! I still want to sit in here, because tomorrow we will be busy checking the apartments you wish to visit, and it is still 8:00PM..
..I will head to the room first then, I felt a little tired. You go on enjoy the area..” I am thinking to go first to check my email that I haven’t check for a few day.
..Ok, I see you later then..” He mumble
On my walk to the room, the soft wind brushes my face, and when I look around, I actually think I could be happy in here.
Arriving at the room, I recheck the apartments list to visit tomorrow, it is not far from each other, but I would like to get the most value ones. Who doesn’t by the way? Getting the most value of what they are paying?
When I check my email, no incoming mail from Bali. One that I wish I would get. Just knowing that he is doing fine. Because in here, I am doing well. Of course the thought of him still in my mind, that is something that I will not get rid easily, but doing other things in life, hopefully he is too.
Checking my Yahoo messenger, which turn out, he left messages there one and a half month ago, several messages that I am not aware or known about. I thought he would send an email to check on me, not on the messenger. ‘Bone Head!’ I curse.
“..Hi Daddy, how are you?..” received on May 14 at 8:29AM
“..Hi Daddy, you not online?..” receive on May 16 at 7:41PM
“..Hi Daddy, are you ok? I hope you doing well back home there..” received on 20 May at 7:28PM
“..Hi Daddy, it’s been a while I haven’t heard from you, hopefully you are OK..” received on May 27 at 8:46AM and several more.
What was I thinking? How come I did not check my messenger? I kept checking on my email hoping to see his email arriving to my Inbox. But messenger, I never thought that he would look up for me there.
..Hi Baby, I am good thank you, sorry to kept missing you online on messenger, I haven’t check my messenger in a while, although I kept checking my email quite often.
Please, next time, write me an email instead.
Anyway, how are you? I hope you doing well?
I am now in Florida to check an apartment, remember I told you I would want to move here before
Hugs and Kisses from Florida..
I sent messages on his messenger and his email, would not want him to miss the similar stupidity as I did. Hoping to get an email, but receiving it on the messenger. I am still pissed at myself. I close the notebook and make a cup of tea. Then, I head to the terrace and sat outside. The traffic on the street are moving, I can see the red light from the rear car light passing by, the peoples are walking on the pedestrian, they walk light and easy, probably heading home from dinner.
I sip my tea, and looking on other side, the reflection of the streetlight on the river from this distance, it looks very pleasing. Maybe, on holiday season it will be more colorful.
..What you doing out here?..” Richard stick his head on the door.
..Enjoying my cup of tea..” I smile and sip my tea “..You just arrived?..
..Yes, I walk quite far after you left..
..You need that walk, the snack you have need to be burn you know?..” I said to him jokingly
..You too, have you look at yourself with your tummy in the mirror?..” Crap! His quick response are rather pain. Probably just as much as my joke to him.
..Maybe tomorrow we can do more walking..
..That is more like it, both of us need to work out, our weight never leave us, isn’t it?..” He take my cup and sip the half warm tea.
..But we both like eating, probably we should work out twice or triple harder than everyone else. Haha..
..Haha. You’re right!..
We sat on the terrace for a while enjoying at the streetlight reflection on the river on our right, and the traffic on our left.

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