guilt

he smile at me, [i must admit, every time i look at him, i saw peace, i saw wisdom, and it felt like he saw trough me] and i just stood up out and wordless. he got closer to me and landed a kiss in my lips, it was soft and tender. i keep looking at his eye, i want to know what is that kiss suppose to be. as i feel i fly with that kiss and then he grab me, my body trembling.. and yet still there is no words come out from my mouth. he whisper in my ears softly “may i?” and i shake my head agreed to it. omg!! he kissed me? he put his arm around me gently, i also kind of wanting it as well.

another soft and gentle kiss fell on my lips. i just can’t believe it!! is he also wanting the same thing as i do? and i just stood there, looking at his eyes, his smile is so peaceful to me. i felt connected.

as he took his clothes off, my eyes can’t ignore to look down. he has a very nice body. i still can’t believe it that he is kissing me, and now he took his clothes off? and again he grab me. he kissed me. and again i just enjoying every bit of his touch, his kiss, his peaceful smile, as my hand touching his body..

i open my eyes and look around, i see my netbook still on, i forgot last night to turn it off, or maybe i just let it to run at night, so the script still runs on mirc. ahh thanks god i finally awake, it’s just a dream!!

well let’s just stop it right there, i don’t need to explain what happened next. it’s a tender and gentle love making. how it ends? well create it yourself in your imagination. i’m sure you have an own experience that you won’t forget in that part.

my head is spinning, as i was back to reality. i find it weird.. i dreamed about making love to someone else but not with my boy friend? and from all the sexy actor movies, why is it him?!! well he is no actor or celebrity, but he is my friends. i knew him for a while now. i have help him on some reason, as he also helped me when i need an help. but again.. why him?!! i like him the first time i met him? yes i did. but i know i have a partner, and he know it as well. and from his last visit, he find his boy friend too. that’s what i even don’t understand. am i secretly in love with him?

as in my dream i don’t feel guilty at all that i dream about him, guilty to my partner, that we’ve been living together for almost 5 years now. and also guilty of me crossing the friendship that we have. my head keep spinning around till now at 13.59pm. i feel so guilty!! i feel i cheated!! i feel i’m wrong!!