..adek today..

he grab my hand and hold it with one of his, his eyes is close, he do look exhausted and tired. ahh.. i think also the room temperature were too cold for him, and he lid his eye a little, i think he want to make sure that i am still there. once he sees me, he close his eyes again. he look so peaceful in his sleep..

..yesterday afternoon..

i move to a new room, since the morning me with help some friends packing the stuff, after the packing done i ask my friend to buy me some food for all of us, then we eat. after sometime, the pick-up car arrive, and we start loading all the things. turn out it can’t be in one time going, it have to be two time load. it have to be done anyway.. on the last load, they left first since i want to clean the room first. after it clean, adek is miauwing outside, probably he knows that i’m moving out. i said to him “..let me do the most of the room, then later this evening i will pick you up ok?..” i believe he understand that, well i wish he understand what i’m saying. as then all friends done helping me to load everything in the new room, they left. well the hard work just started, i have to arrange how the room would be. took me several hours to get the things arrange, not all of them, but the major of them.

later on after a failed dinner with a friends who misunderstood about where the meeting point is, around 9:20pm i went to the old room thinking to pick adek up, he wasn’t there, i have waited for one and a half hours, i dont see him coming yet, then i head home, i left an offline message to my partner that adek is not home yet. could adek runaway because he is sad i abandon him? but he should come home at about the time i came there, he must have been freaking out, once he come to the room all were gone, its just an empty room that he even has no place to sleep. i leave him a bowl of his food, he didn’t even touch it. could he be angry at me? ahh its all my fault, i should just take him with me on the first time, instead telling him later will picking him up, only if he can understand my language, ahh its all my fault. and i start blaming my self to leave him alone. and i start worrying about what he is doing, what he eat, i think he cant even eat since he is sad and angry i haven’t take him with me. ahh so sorry adek. i was just wish when you come to the new room its all will be ready and then you can enjoy the new room.

as i was so tired and exhausted from the moving things, i fell asleep right away and wake up at 7:39am, i hope that i was just too tired i wake up late, not because it was so nice to be in bed and make me lazy to get up. make a cup of coffee as usual, enjoy the cigarettes, i cant stop think about adek, i was just about to go to the old room, and it started raining. i wait a little.. once the rain stop, i went to get ready, mop the floor, shower, and get dress, i step outside and turn out, while i was in the shower it rain! big one! i make my mind to go in the rain, then hoping that adek would be in front of the room waiting for me there, on the way i notice some street are flooded, ahh bali.. when will the rain is just a rain? without making any flood in the street. i arrive in the room, adek wasn’t there, the neighbour next to me then said last night at around midnight he went home though, and this morning as well, ahh.. am i too late adek? so you leave the room? i waited there half an hour no adek sign turn up. i really started to worry, that he really is angry, scared that i leave him alone. adek i would never abandon you, i adopt you since you were baby after you fell from the roof, remember? i take care of you from the very beginning, when you cant even see good, remember when g wanted to give you kiss, you put your mouth up to get it? remember when you bite my friends earphone to pieces? remember when we arrive home, you waited outside miauwing to get your food? have you forgot all that? is your anger to me makes you leave and become a street cat? (ohh did i tell you that adek is a cat?) i dont think you would do such things. well i miss you adek. please come home soon so i can take you to the new room, i hope that you would enjoy it as i did.

i have waited there in the rain, deep down i blame my self for leaving him behind and not taking him right away. i tell the neighbour that i want to have a cup coffee nearby, and i told them to sms me if adek is around. i start driving, coffee shop is close, “..ok.. let me have a breakfast then..” i thought, the nasi padang place is also close, then i start driving around to get food at least. on the street i can’t stop thinking about adek and my tears fell, i really am sorry of what i did, its all my mistake!

my phone rang, its from the neighbour, i pick it up she says “..mas come here now, the cat is in here..” ahh i’m so glad, so happy, i just drive straight home, all the bumps i hit it with no hesitation, i dont care!! i want to see adek now!! arrive home safely, adek was there, he look all wet, and eating the head of the fish the nighbour gave him. his fur were  all straight up, i think he is on stress. but glad that he is back, i think somehow, last night he also went home went home after i left, i missed him last night, and now i ask the neighbour, and he did come home after i left. ahh so glad he is back.

then i take him home, i put him in the big black bag, i put the back not im my shoulder but in front of me, so i can see him, as its raining again when i went home, i put a rain coat in front of me, i dont care i get wet, but as far adek dont get wet on the transport to the new room, i peek at him once a while, he is asleep inside, on the motorbike, can you believe it? a cat inside a bag, only a little zipper open for him to breath, and he is asleep. as i smile and happy, i guess he also happy to see me, and he dont care even he has to be in the bag, as far as i am with him, he will be safe, that what i think about what he is thinking. the rain just doesn’t stop till i get home, adek still sleeping in the bag. arrive home, my back were wet, take off the raincoat, and bring him upstairs to my room, he went out, kind of scared still, hide under the bed as usual, he get use to it after a while, i gave him the chicken i buy for him last night, he eat and then he start to lick him self up to clean his fur, i gues he is tired. and then he went to sleep.

i can see he is relieved, he feel safe again, he feel home. i let the ac runs, i cover him with a blanket, its a blanket of a sarong that g gave to me, he look so peaceful, just a few minutes ago i check him out, he sleep so peacefully, i touch him, and he even turn to sleep tighter, i can feel his tension were gone, his fur were smooth and not so harsh anymore. i guess even a cat also have feelings, he feel safe, doesn’t matter where he live, but as far as i’m with him, he knows he will be just fine.

when i think again about me and my partner, we were apart, and it wasn’t easy for us, but then, we still kicking to fight to be together again. as far as we both were together, i think we will be just fine, ohh its also include adek in it.

“..welcome home adek..“