..identity II..

a book called “that undeniable longing”, a book that i’m interested and wanted to read for sometime already, i can’t really remember where do i read the review about its book, but on that first moment of reading, this book got my attention. then later on i found out about who is the writer, mark f Tedesco, that’s how in facebook his name is written. i like the fact that he write his journey in the book, and as also the fact that he is gay, and i think he also hot. haha!!

i asked before about where can i get the book, especially in my country, indonesia. i have been searching for sometime but yet i still have no luck. other than that, i also can get the book by online shopping, the price was ok i think, but the delivery cost is high. ahh! sorry mark, i know i would love to read your book, but the delivery itself cost like couple more time than the book price itself. so waiting until the book are sold in here, are the only option.

today i went to look to his page again, and my eyes stop at the status posted on october 26, it says,

“..besides physical attraction, what is the most important quality you look for in a friend or partner?..“
interesting isn’t it? and i kept reading the response from it post, lots of people answers, and i think most of them are his admirer, maybe. and the answers are many variety of qualities, since i think each person have their own value of what they were looking for. and then he again response to still the same posted like this,

“..for me it is loyalty. i would rather have someone stay in my life as my friend than have an intense romantic experience only to never see or speak with one another when it is over..“
again, interesting isn’t it? i think it is. a person who choose a friendship, a truly friendship, over a relationship (well friendship is a also categorize as relationship, but you guys must know what it meant, relationship which the boundaries are not limited on a basic friendship). i admire his choices. and i also completely understand.

i have both, a great love one and only, even he is thousands miles away from me, but yet the feeling are keep getting stronger each day. and, i also have all the great friends around me. ahh i really am a lucky guy.

and again he wrote for his last explanation like this,

“..someone who is loyal is there for you when things are tough, and you are there for him/her. they share your joys and sorrows, and you can count on them, and they on you, to be part of their lives year after year. i am so grateful to have such people in my life. i stopped mixing sex and friendship some time back, realizing that sex seemed to diminish the chances of a lasting friendship. i am more interested in having friends as family; perhaps it is because i passed through cancer and recently lost some dear to me..“
is that clear enough? i think, people become who they are right now, because of their path, and they choose what suits them the best, and yes, we are no one to say it is right or wrong, since we have no idea or known how their past were.

i know some of us think that we are different, maybe being gay guy is hard for us when we were about to choose to become “it”, or become a guy who have to live a lie as what they called bisexual also not easy, isn’t it? yes we are all different and unique on our own ways, and that what makes us wonderful.

just find who you really are and be honest to yourself, i think that is what matter. because, once you find out the true “you”, then you can figure out about the accomplishment you wanted to make, whatever it is, work hard and don’t easily give up.

just believe that once you were there, it’s all worth the efforts.