..the hope..

‘..i don’t want to run away, but I can’t take it, I don’t understand..‘ the phone rang. I quickly drop my laundry in the bathroom and run to the living room.
“..met G, hello..” I greet
“..Happy Birthday to you!..” the guy on the other said say it almost the same time as I greet him.
“..hi, thank you, how did you know it was my birthday?..”
“..your profile said it is your birthday, last night when I check online, and if it is not correct, you should adjust it accordingly..” the voice on the other side explain. I smile. It would be the first Birthday wished I hear.
“..no, it is correct, and thank you. I was in the middle doing laundry, what you up to?..”
“..ahh ok, enjoy doing the laundry then, not much, about to work here, and thought, why don’t I wish you, your Birthday, so here I am, calling you..” that’s sweet, I am aware I have chat with him for several time, but didn’t notice that he would be that details in looking at profile, that got him found out my birth day.
“..thank you for the nice thought and wish..”
“..no worries, so you not going out in the weekend?..” he fire a question. Unfortunately, I have appointment already in the weekend with friends to go to the club, for the Birthday celebration. I would like to meet him though.
“..sorry, I have appointment in the weekend, can I take a rain check and call you when I am free?..” I explain.
“..OK, have a good weekend as well then ya, have got to work now, talk to you again soon, bye-bye for now..” he close the conversation quickly.
“..thank you for calling, bye now..” I hang-up the phone. And continue doing the laundry, happy, knowing someone out there still having a nice thought, to me.
..
That weekend, I could not let my thought about him, I was out to the club with several of friends, but I’d rather watch TV at this midnight time. It is more convenient to me. Beside, you can’t really talk to your friends, the music is very loud, it got to the point that you have to scream to have a conversation, and that is behind the opposite ears. Rather sit at home, or have dinner with them then going to the club. But, once in a while, I have to make an exception and join them too. And tonight, is that exception.
..
I finally got hire at this most happening magazine, as the graphic designer manager, just the work I needed to continue surviving, and at the same department as my business back home before I decided to move out. Life does start to ease on me, having a job is one, and I gain my confidence back. Slowly. The job pay well. And I start earning something.
I just arrived at the office, turning on my computer, and head to the pantry to make a cup of coffee. Back to my table, I have a deadline by end of the week, so I better start working on it now, but from I can’t finish my deadline, because of a colleague that is not finish with his article, so I have to be patient and wait. This is very different way of working like I used to. I don’t like to be late and last minute handing my work to the printing company, but I can’t finish mine because of someone doesn’t finish his article in time.
I saw a notification on my computer, a familiar nickname online, it’s been a while I haven’t heard from him, after that birthday call.
“..hi you, how are you? I haven’t heard from for months, where have you been?..” I start the conversation.
“..hi Gerhard, haven’t been anywhere, just work and home, not much really..”
“..i did call you three or four weeks after your call, but your number is no longer active? What happened?..” I remember very well, few weeks after he call, I haven’t heard from him, so I gave him a call, but said his number is out of coverage area.
“..ahh, I lost that number, so I lost your contact as well with the phone..” he explain.
“..oh ok, sorry for the lost number. Maybe we can catch up sometime?..” would be nice to actually knew him.
“..sure, but I only have time in the weekend, working in midweek..”
“..this weekend is good..” so I gave him my home address, told him to give me a ring before he left and at the areas, so I can pick him up, instead of trying to find the correct address and took him longer. And he gave me his new phone number.
..
I have been busy the whole morning, cleaning up the house, tidy up a little. When the phone notify me that I have a new message.
“..i am in the round about to your place, should I wait here?..” I thought I said to give me a call when he is about to leave, but instead he is already in near?
“..ok will come up there a few minutes..” I don’t have time to change, so I went out with my no sleeves shirt and short pant. It won’t be nice to look at, but it will be a not nicer if I make him wait too long for me.
Saw him on the side of the street, standing on a motorbike, waiting, I point a finger, and he nod. And then I told him to follow me.
“..you live alone in here?..” after we got to my place, we sat and chat. The television is still on, softly.
“..not at the moment, I have this friend who is staying with me, he is on his holiday, he live and work in Jakarta..” I explain.
“..a boyfriend?..” he ask and smile
“..no, not a boyfriend, just a friend..” it was supposed to be I am helping the guy, but turns out he extend his holiday.
“..you look different in picture and in real..” I try to avoid more question
“..really? you’re the third person who said that, hopefully it is good difference..” surprising answer. So I am the third person he met, probably from online as well, just like how we meet in the first place. He does look difference from his profile, more cute in real life than in his picture. I wasn’t expecting that, usually picture are better than the real one, but this one work the way around? My profile picture must have been on the contrary, I look like crap in real.
“..so you have a boyfriend?..” can’t hold back my curiosity.
“..yes, he is in Thailand now, we were together last November, said he will be back next April, he is on his trip for 6 months to travel in Asia..” he explain as there is nothing to hide.
“..owh, you have an LDR then, that’s no relationship for me..” I commented
“..why not? You love a person, and you are in relationship, so it is a relationship. And what is LDR?..” he make his point, and it correct in some ways.
“..no, not that, I mean is, relationship for me would be living together, not when one of us is on holiday. Is it really still a relationship when what you know about him is only when he is about and want to have fun? Relationship would mean, to me, living together, knowing each other in the good and the bad times..” I can’t believe that I am explaining about this, I just realized that is why is not working from my previous relationship, one of us is on our holidays. It just got me feel stupid explaining it, I believe something but I didn’t even know I am at the crossing line of my own believe.
“..well, for me, as far as you love the guy, you are in relationship, no matter it is being separated by distance or not, it is still called as relationship. As for me, it work. Sure I would love him to stay here, but sometime we have to do things that is not an ideal to us, because something called ‘love’..” I actually see his point. And he has this strong believe on what he said. Nice to know someone half my age could come-up with such understanding.
It was a day to remember, for me, just talking to him, knowing him more, you knew more peoples that have his own free mind. In life, you knew more peoples that sometime crossing your own believe, but they doing it and actually happy, hopefully they do. You know you would remember this kind of person, another person to remind you, that someone out there, having their own kind of way of thinking, and if you’re lucky enough, you would find one that is match with your way of thinking, and if the luck fall to you, you can be in relationship with that one person. Maybe, someday, me too can find that one person. For me.