..the first..

“..hi..” a new window of chat pop-up
“..hi too..” it is ridiculous, just two words I type and took me several minutes just to type and pressing the enter button. The reason is not that I am unfamiliar with keyboard, but more to trying to remember what he chatted, last time, with the same similar nick. Which about a months ago, I chatted with this similar nickname, but to be honest, I can’t remember much, it was a short chat. He was just asking of how I am, and said he wanted to visit Bali. I’m not sure why someone I barely knew, telling me he wanted to come to visit the island, where I work and live for about 1,5 year.
“..I am in Bali now, as I said I would contacted you back then, I stay in Seminyak..” the person on the other side explain. It got me excited and scared at the same time, can someone have the same mixed-up feeling because of sentences explaining about where he is, even though I barely knew the guy?
First, the chat back then was short, I don’t even know much who he really is, what he is doing in live and so on.
..
Since I started to chat out of curiosity, 5 months ago, it was an incidentally luck, that got me the site, where peoples online, there was a main-room and private chat, I was typing the keyword ‘gay’, and then it suggest me to go to the site. The website were running on java script, with the internet connection that needed patience to load a page. Back then, I chatted with two other guy more often, one is also living in in here, coming from another continent, said he wanted to live and settle in Bali. We’ve got to exchange number, and texted several messages, he said he is living about 15km further out from the city, last beginning October I called him, to wish him a happy birthday, but said he will be busy that weekend with his friends, going to the club to celebrate his birthday.
I’ve never been set a foot to the club before, but it sound like a place where everyone hang-out with loud music, dancing. Or at least, that was what the television potray when you are in the club, not my kind of scene really. I’d rather stay home and sleep, then head to the Sanur in the morning time, enjoying the sea breeze, and see how others enjoying their weekend, most of them are families. They always seems so happy when it comes to the beach, and play with the water, splashing it to the relatives, laughing. They’re having a good time. So was I, just by watching them, I feel happy.
..
The other guy is living in another continent, faraway, 6/7 hours difference, it shows how great the distance are. We chatted more regularly, he was very kind from the sound of how he chat. I am aware, I barely knew how peoples online behave, but from how he chat to me, he sounds like a really nice guy. He did come to Bali 1,5 months ago, and we met, he is a nice guy indeed, says he travel with his friend, so we met in Kuta Square mall back then, I feel comfortable to meet him, as I think I knew more about him. Offer me to buy me a new phone, which I refuse, I can’t take others money, specially, I just met him for the first time, it would make me feel bad. Beside, I can afford buying a new one if I just save for two or three months, in no rush to have a new phone too, as this old one is working just fine, I can text and call, that’s more than enough. Two weeks ago, at work, I remembered well putting my mobile on the table, and went to the bathroom to take a leak, but when I return, my phone was gone, a phone that I just bought the week before. I look through the drawer, still not there. Was so pissed back then.
The short time I met the guy, it felt good, knowing there are others, just like me, a man who interested in another man, to be involve. I was heading home happy. The battle within myself were urging sometime, of how I was raised and being told, we, as human being are not allowed to be ‘involve’ with other same gender, and it is consider as a big sin. But to be honest, I can’t deny the urge that I am attracted to the same gender instead of the opposite. Call me a sinner, but that is just who I am.
..
“..ok, where..” I am surprise, what on earth did I just type and sent, it is late night already, and I ask where he stay? I still have to work tomorrow, and it might lead to wanting to meet tonight? I am not entitled to meet anyone this late night, while the next day I have to get up early to work.
“..what did I just do..” I whispered. This probably the most un-responsible act I’ve done. And there is another guy on the other side that actually take it the wrong way.
He gave me his hotel address, and his local number. So now I actually have to go to meet him. Why someone wanting to meet late at night, don’t they have activities the next day?
..
“..I’m in motorbike parking lot already..” confuse whether to send or not, I sat again on the motorbike, turn on the engine, about to wear the helmet, I stop, stunned. I look at my mobile again, and press send. I drive for almost 30 minutes to get to the address he gave me, and about to bail out, to the person I wanted to meet, whom I knew online. I put the helmet back, and waited.
“..OK, come to the restaurant, I am wearing a blue shirt..” he replied.
The battle within me, of meeting a guy late night, someone I barely knew, and yet here I am. Does curiosity actually won against the odds? Against what is being teach and told, in my childhood? Yet, here I am. It was uncomfortable enough situation when I was about to enter the hotel areas, the security stop me, and asked what is the purpose of my visit, which then I reason, I wanted to meet a guest, name Lee. He asked to see my ID card. And make a copy of it. Maybe for securities reason, but still, I feel uncomfortable.
I stand in the door of the restaurant, nervously. I look through the restaurant, try to find a guy with a blue shirt, which I don’t find, I expect to see a guy wears a dark blue shirt. Although, there is a guy on a bright blue shirt with leafy bright contrast motive, standing up. As I walk toward him, he look at me and smile. He must be triple size of me, a very big and tall guy, I actually have to look up to see his face.
“..Lee?..” I asked while we shook hand. He nod and smile.
The restaurant is rather having low light, we sat on the table of two, with a candle light in the middle of the table between us. He fires more questions than I do, he knows I work in the city at a computer distributor, and how old am I, I actually think I put an age at my online profile, yet he still asked about it, also more basic stuff.
I ordered a fried rice, after looking at the menu, which is not cheap, I can buy 3,5 portions of fried rice close to where I live, with the same exact price. For someone who is never eating at a fancy restaurants, looking at the menu only, terrified me, while I look through other prices are higher.
‘..This better be a friggin’ good fried rice..’ my thought when I order the food.
He ordered a chicken Gordon bleu, I don’t bother in comparing the prices.
..
He said, he is a retired man coming from Boston. That is so far what I got from the very late dinner time. ‘..have I told him my favorite color?..’ my thought still trying to rewind the chat I have with him, unlikely no, or is it just a pure coincidence, that he put on a shirt and order food with my number one color? I don’t have much time with my thought and there is a guy sat in front of me, he sweats, which I found odd, at night and he sweat? Probably the weather is too hot for him.
He offered to have a walk at the hotel areas after we finished with our meal, it have a big pools with lighting which makes the pool outstanding, tress and shrub that is being well maintained and placed in order make the areas looks expensive, and classy.