..the first..

..would you like to see the room?..” he asked, after we walk through the areas, the hotel is quite wide, and took us about 20 minutes to walk around. I don’t pay attention to the watch anymore, as I am having a good time, being with him. His heavy voice for me trembled every time he speak.
I am confuse, should I take the offer or refuse. Something could have happened in the room, something I never did in my life, with another man. ‘..or it will be just a friendly meet, he may just wanted to show you the room, no need to panic or thinking things too much..’ my thought still having a doubt  and reassuring. How do we have such battle within our self?
..OK..” I said short and soft, but the quiet night makes my voice clear and he then show me the way to his room. I still can’t believe it, it makes me feel like a cow that got pierce in the nose, and go or do whatever the farmer wants. Even my head is still battling and wanted to leave, but the words that comes out of my mouth is leading to where I actually not expect.
..would you like to have a glass of water?..” the room is very bright when he turn on the light, on the contrary from the outside of the hotel, which having a very low light, you don’t see things clear, just shade and enough to show. Usually on television, it creates a romantic environment, where two people were having a candle light dinner, and flirting with each other.
..yes please..” he then head to the back and get two glass of water, hand me one from his right hand, he sat at the other end of an L shape of couch, I drink the water and look around.
“..so? what you think of the room?..” he question
“..the room is very big and very bright, and looks very-very expensive..” I reply, he then laugh softly and smile, even his soft laugh still got me tremble. Every time he speak or laugh, he got this very heavy low voice. That actually intimidate me. I guess it is normal, for someone with his body figure to have such a voice, and it would not suit if he got a high pitch voice instead, I suppose.
..you can open the door to the terrace, and see how outside look like at night..” he suggest, as he stand and walk and open the door to the terrace, I followed after.
I can see the pool with the light pointing at it, the under light makes the water more green from above, the trees were very well maintained that I can actually see the walk-path. Some scenery I never witness with my very own eyes, at night.
He put his big arm around my waist as he stand on my left side. When I look at him confusedly, turn out he already looking at me the whole time when we stand on the terrace. Is he really hoping for something to happen tonight? But what?
I turn back to get in to the room, my head were still battling within myself, should I go, or should I stay. What if, what is about to happen next, actually something I not expected? I don’t know what to expect, but still, I am terrified by my own thought.
I sat at the end of the couch, and drink from the glass. He walk back in, not long after me, and this time, he sat right next to me, very close, to where I realized which turn out, he have a very beautiful blue eyes, I look at his eyes while he look back at me, smiling. He move his face closer to me, and kiss me on the lip.
It is like an explosion, the voice in my head were saying that it is a sin and forbidden, but my feeling said it was right, and wonderful. There is never in my whole life, to be kissed on the lips by other human being. His tongue were trying to get in to my mouth, I open my mouth, oddly, and it feels so right.
How come, something so wonderful can lead me to a place where no one wanted it to be, called as hell? Is it because of the first time ever, so my head questioning a lot instead of enjoying every bit of it?
..I give in..
It was lots of kissing happening, to where to stage where we both naked but the underwear are on, he touch every inch of my body, I actually think he enjoy exploring my hairless body, a body which I never be proud to show to anyone, because of the lack of hair, a body that always got me shame to be shirtless. That’s why every time I went to beach, I never actually swim, because of shy and shame. And he is touching it.
On the contrary, his body were so big, my hand were trying to move around, and it is hair in each part of his body. I actually enjoying it. He still kissing me on the mouth, he stood a few seconds and then kiss me some more. I enjoy every second of what is happening, even though my head were kept telling me it is wrong, after a while, I actually ignore the voices in my head, and enjoying what is right in front me, kissing me, touching me, enjoying me, as I enjoying him.
The feeling were unexplainably beautiful to me. The first ever, a man kiss and touch me, a man naked in my very front eyes, a big beautiful man with lots of hair in his body, with a beautiful blue eyes, who wear a light blue with light motives shirt to meet me. That was the first ever. And he was gentle.
And to be honest, I am grateful, by taking chances and coming out from my comfort zone.
For the first time..

4 replies to “..the first..

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