“..Hi Gerhard, sorry for leaving early last Saturday, anyway, thank you for the good time that Friday evening. Wish you to have a good day..” A text message entered my inbox. I just finished my lunch at the Soto Ayam (Chicken Soup) next door. It was this small space they rent, and always crowded in Kuta area, the price is very reasonable with a great taste. It is located in Raya Kuta Street behind Mandara Spa. They called them self as ‘Soto Ayam Pak Salim’.
“..Hello You, not to worry, you have something to do with your colleague, so I understand. 🙂 I too enjoy our evening together. We should do it again sometime. Have you had your lunch?..” I reply back his message. Admitting that he start to grew on me. I kind of wait his text messages. It usually make my day.
“..About to have my Tahu Tek (Mix Tofu, Potatoes, Fried Eggs, Sticky rice and peanut sauce) now. Anyway, are you free tonight? I have something to talk about if you’re not busy. Maybe we can have dinner somewhere?..” His reply is rather surprising. Wednesday? He wanted to meet midweek? That’s new.
“..Sure, after working hour, yes? You have an idea where to have dinner yet?..”
“..Not sure where to yet, what about ‘Ayam Bakar Wong Solo’ in Renon? Have you try already?..” Hmm, Renon area? Isn’t that a bit further from his place? Also further from my place too.
“..Nope, never been there before, I pick you up at the same place as last time then?..”
“..Sure. See you tonight then..”
I was wondering what he will talk about the whole afternoon. Wonder if he wanted to remain friends and not wanting to have the same closeness as we had last Friday evening. I haven’t heard anything from him since then, I was thinking that he disappointed because we both crossing line of our friendship. If he do wish to remain friends, of course it would be good, but being honest to myself, I wish to have him for more than just friend. Probably his recent break-up still bother his feeling to get close to each other. But it’s been more than two months now it must be, should he is moving on from it?
Did I do something wrong that evening? I run through what happened last Friday evening, when we both felt each other skin, lips and everything. I was enjoying so much, that I could not think of anything that I did was not pleasant. Although when we were kissing each other, and I was on top of him, when I was taking pause from the kiss, he was somehow freeze for a few seconds, and when I kiss him it felt different, but another few seconds later, it was all went right, very right. I hear him breathing heavily, and while his hand on my shoulder, and his both legs are on my waist, I can feel I can actually lift him up, while we both still kissing each other.
I rarely have someone wanted to talk to me about something, but this ‘something’ are rather kept running around my head.
Driving through the city, the day is started to get dark, all the light from the shops are just being turned on, the motorbikes and cars light are too, I pull the gas in combination with the clutch on my left leg, trying to get there faster. I make this crazy zig-zag maneuver several time to avoid the car which drive slow. I know it is dangerous. But the peoples in the cities are requiring a larger space with their small car, I actually think they were thinking they were driving a bus or truck. I know I have been living in here for almost two years, but the traffic, is still driving me nuts. So I come to this conclusion, if I don’t go crazy along with it, I will be the one who will be crazy.
He stand in front of the Denpasar Telkom building, wearing his blue jeans and his blue t-shirt then walking towards me when he spotted me coming from a distance.
“..You’ve been here for sometime? Sorry the traffic are rather busy at this hour..” That was the first sentence that is coming from my mouth, instead of complimenting his nice color of his jeans and t-shit.
“..Not really, I think about 10 or 15 minutes. Yeah, this is the time of everyone is going back to their home from work, so it is normal if it is a little busy..”
“..Shall we go now?..”
“..Sure..” With his short figure, he some kind of have to make a little jump to push himself to get to the back seat of the motorbike. The motorbike is a rather a little high for his body figure, I assume. All the way to the restaurant we don’t speak much, and he also not holding me from behind like the last time. He is definitely taking some distance from me. I don’t want to ask him to put his arm around me, while he knew that I was enjoying it, and choose not to.
We take a seat of a little further in the back, it was this kind of Lesehan (sitting on carpet) kind of restaurants, owh didn’t he knew that with my height, I am having difficulties to sit down on the carpet floor? He still somehow not talking much to me. I don’t know what to say or do. I just follow him to sit where he is wishing to sit. Not comfortable. But I just follow him.
We both order Ayam Goreng (Fried Chicken), I ask specifically one Breast of Ayam Goreng with no skin. Looking at the menu, their price are fair, not very expensive when I compare it to the restaurants in Kuta, Legian or Seminyak areas, but definitely not cheaper than the average Warung in Denpasar.
“..So, what is this something you want to talk about?..” I better spill the beans now. If he think I was making something wrong to him, I will say sorry.
“..Don’t you think it is better if we talk after we eat?..” I am eager to hear what he has to say. But sure, I don’t mind to wait a little longer. The waitress come with two breasts of chicken, with skin.
“..Mba, I asked specifically without skin, and this two breasts is still have skin..” My appetite to eat is ruin. He has to rescue me with my broken Indonesian language, he explain to the waitress about my order. They take one of the chicken. And comeback with one breast, I could still see the skin in the edges.
“..Whats wrong with the skin? The taste is better at the skin it self..” He ask such a silly question.
“..I don’t each skin or liver..” I start cutting my chicken, I don’t really want to eat no more. But I just leave the part of the skin out.
After we finished our dinner, we start to light our cigarettes, him with his red Dunhill, and mine with my red Marlboro. I still am not happy with my dinner.
“..So how’s your day?..”
“..Busy, as usual, works are rather busy nowadays, it is almost end of the month, so we have to prepare our contents for the printing company..” I inhale the cigarette deep in to my lung, and exhale it slowly. “..How about yours?..”
“..Remember the new position offered? I took it, but to be honest, I don’t really enjoy it, I think I will try to find other job, this past three days, I don’t really like the new position, Sales department is not my areas..” This guy is crazy, he just got an offer for a better position, a little raise on the salary, and he will quit it?
“..Why? I though everyone should be thrill and happy with promotion, and you want to find another job within three days?..”
“..I have a friend who said his company is looking for a new staff, I am considering to apply that one..” That was fast. Last weekend he was troubled with the new position offered, and now he have a new job available for him? I wish I could find a job that easy in this country.
“..Ahh ok, I though you would quit before you find a new job, that would be a reckless move..”
“..Of course not, I have bills to pay, I can’t afford to make those reckless moves, I don’t like being jobless either..” His answer is crystal clear. His attitude in working areas, I like very much. “..One moment please, I need to use the restroom..” I light another cigarette while he left, a few minutes later he return. “..We can go if you are ready..”
“..Wait let me pay the bill..”
“..I already did after the rest room..” Did he just pay my dinner?
“..So that’s what you want to talk about? You want to apply for a new job? Can we smoke for one or two before we leave?..” He sat on the carpet across me.
“..Not really, but it’s ok, maybe some other time..” He join me lighting his cigarette. We sat quietly. Not much to talk about anymore.
“..Ok we can go, where you want to go after this? Would you want to stay overnight in place again?..”
“..Of course, I would not ask if I am not sure. At home, we can talk more..” I think he is not comfortable talking about this ‘something’ in a public place. “..Although I don’t really know how to get home from here, you do know where to go right?..”
“..Yes, you want me to drive as well?..”
“..Can you drive my motorbike?..” I actually meant as ‘can you reach the ground on my motorbike’.
“..Of course I can, what makes you think I can’t drive a manual motorbike?..”
“..Your height?..” I grin.
“..Excuse me, I may not be as tall as you, but I can drive your motorbike..” I hand him the key. He jump on the driver seat, I can see that he actually use his toes to step on the ground. He gave me a sign to sit on the passenger seat. Unsurely, I did. Scared. Then he start the engine. The motorbike are starting to go, I grip both of my hand on the handle bar. Afraid that it would fall to the sight.
He drove the motorbike like those other crazy guy on the street, zig-zag avoiding cars and motorbikes, turning a steep curve easily, play with the clutch smoothly, I don’t scent any harsh sound from the engine because of pushing one gear too high with the RPM. When he break with sudden several times because of another vehicle in front of us break, I let my body got closer to him, I can feel my stomach is touching his back. ‘If he break one more time, I will put my arm around him’.
And he did. So I move my hand around him, exactly at the same time with the break rhythm, so he feel it is not on purpose, even though it is. I hold him with my arm around his waist, and my body lean against him. He didn’t react. He kept driving, passing cars and motorbikes. He drive through streets I am unfamiliar with. With holding him from behind, I don’t care which street he takes me to, as far as I arrive home. The longer routes he take is the better, I enjoy with his way of riding, smooth, easy, lean but quite brave on the street.
Exactly just like him. Yes. Just like him.