..the love..

..
After I moved-in to Gerhard place, we got to know each other better. We both don’t really like to go out clubbing, although we do go out twice a month, which is more than enough for us. We both like to cook, even though our cooking is difference from each other, he likes his cooking sweet and spicy, on the other hand, I like my cooking salty and sour. We do try to cook for each other, when he is trying to cook at how I like my food would be, it either turn too salty or tasteless, and when I try to cook to his expecting food, I failed miserably. Let’s just leave the cooking part in the kitchen. We both like watching movies, although I like my movies just one at the time, he likes to watch movies in marathon. He can watch 4 movies continuing. To me, that is just ruining the feeling after the movie end.
I don’t really have a gay friend to hang out with, so I can’t introduce Gerhard to most of my friend, which they don’t know that I am gay. He did introduce me to several of his friends. One is living not far from us, about 20 minutes’ drive, name Huda, he is living with his boyfriend. Huda work in this tour and travel company, he work as the guide, he speak very fluent Dutch. They both speak in this strange in my ear language when they talk together, makes me felt like an alien.
Another friend of him, name Hendra, he is this older Indonesian who lived in the Netherland, having his every 6 month vacation in Bali to be with his boyfriend too, he is living 6 month in Bali and then another 6 month in Amsterdam. His boyfriend originally from Bali central. They both speak Dutch as well when they have their conversation. The language is sound very odd in my ears.
When he start speaking the strange language with his friend, I then rather busy watching TV or just talking to the boyfriend. Which I find a little difficult at some level. We both may be gay, but we have a different kind of lifestyle to be able to talk freely. Also, I feel this wall between us that I can’t even understand what it is. So we ended up watching movies that are playing on TV quietly, while those two are talking in their own language.
On free our day, we usually just driving around on the motorbike, trying some places we haven’t tried. Sometime we ended up cursing at each other because of a wrong restaurant choice, which the price are on the same par with Kuta, Legian and Seminyak areas, but the taste are rather disappointing. On our ride, we speak to each other, which we won’t be returning to the restaurant.
We sometime visit this beaches that have not much of a tourists, the less peoples around the better. So we can sat quietly on the beach and not have to bother with other people’s activities. After we have enough going out in the day time, then we head home. He always wanted to drive the motorbike with hardly wanting to switch. He said, he likes to be hold when he ride the motorbike. Such an excuse.
..
“..Good Morning sweetheart..” The moment I open my eyes, he always greet me with a big smile, apparently he always waking up earlier than I do, even though I thought I already waking up early.
“..Good Morning, why you always looking at me while I was sleeping?..” I questioned his habit. ‘..it is creepy..’ my brain saying it out loud, but my mouth is closed not saying any word that my brain thought.
“..Because you sleep peacefully and looking very cute when you sleep..” He knew he don’t have to compliment me every time, but fine, I take that as a compliment, even though I thought I am far from cute. I’m just glad he think I am.
“..Coffee?..” I sat in the edge of the bed. When I am awake, I am awake. I don’t really like being lazy in bed doing nothing but laying down.
“..Why can’t we just lay here for a while? Just cuddle, you and me..” He open his arm wide open, it tickle me, a feeling of wanting to stay in bed or going to the kitchen and making a cup of coffee.
“..I need my coffee, sorry..” I got up. And leaving him in bed. He then also get out of bed and following me to the kitchen. While I put the coffee on the cup, his hand slowing touching my waist, and he slowly press his round stomach on my back.
“..Gerhard, I am making coffee here, you don’t want the coffee to spill, don’t you?.,” He just don’t listen to any words I am saying. “..You wish you have your own cup? Or we share?..”
“..Share please..” he start kissing my neck. I move to the living room as soon as the coffee is done. Didn’t he knew that my next is ticklish each time he is kissing it? I turn on the TV and put on the news, I put the cup on the table, and sat on my usual place to sit. He sat very close to me, and he put his hand on my shoulder.
“.Something wrong? Are you OK?..”
“..Yes, I just want to feel closer to you, why?..” He sip the coffee before me.
“..We live in the same house, is that not close enough?..” I raised my eye brow questioning his question.
“..I am just happy, OK. Sometime, I still can’t believe that I have a lover again..” Is that it? that’s what makes him like magnetic person? I sip the coffee that is left 70 percent on the cup. He sip a lot in one time. Well, he is a big guy.
“..We live together for more than a month now, and you still don’t realize that we are in this together?..” Again, his sentence raised another question.
“..I know, but can’t I just be happy?..”
“..Sure you can, your happiness will turn you to become this gluey person against me?..”
“..All I want to have this morning is just a cuddle..” So I let him sit right next to me. I can feel his skin against mine. His hand is on my waist, I rest my head on his shoulder. I enjoy his hand that roam around my body. I feel happy just to see him happy this way.
The news on Television that are airing, is about this Jakarta election to choose their governor. Not much that take my interest. I switch to another channel, then it is airing about the football match that was on last night, not much of my thing either. I turn off the Television after several switch and eventually giving up, because there is nothing that I actually want to watch.
“..So, what you want to do today?..” He answer with raising his shoulder.
..Up to you..” Not an answer I’m hoping to get, I want to go out. But I don’t know where to. He usually always have something in mind to go in the weekend.
“..You so unusual, is there anything wrong?..”
“..Nothing..” His hand still touching my skin. I finish the coffee that is left on the cup.
“..Want to visit your friend? Huda? Hendra? Or maybe other friends you have?..” Just an idea he might consider.
“..Not really..” I give up, he is clearly not in the mood to do anything for the day. So we might just end-up staying home, watching movies.
“..You still want your cuddle?..”
“..I am having mine right now..” That’s right, it can be consider as a cuddle too, his hand were roaming around since we sat on the couch, he sit right next to me, with no distance at all, I feel his skin on mine.
“..I mean the proper one, in bed, so we can cuddle, and better yet, we can kiss, in here I have to turn around, not very convenient. Don’t you think?..” He got up, and about to head to the bed.
“..It doesn’t take you a second, aren’t you?..” He smile at me. We both head to the bedroom. It was 8:10AM, and we are heading to the bedroom, that is new. Looking as his light step, and his smile, it makes me happy. I slap gently on his but cheek. He stop and turn around facing me. A few second later, he kiss me. I can’t believe, a simple cuddle would make him this happy.
“..I Love you..” The word come out of my mouth when he take his lips off from mine. We haven’t said the word to each other, even though we live together for more than one month. And then he kiss me again, this time even longer we kiss. There we were, standing in front of the bedroom door, kissing. I have to stop him from kissing me, as I am almost out of breath.
“..I Love you too..” And he kiss me again.
..
the-love

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